alidzain
alidzain
Nov 26, 2016
This poem is part of the workshop:

Storytelling in Verse: A Study in Pink.

(Read More...)

The Shadows' Connection 1 (Alid & Geezer's Hunter-KILLER SERIES)

Poem Body

Frowning Sulong Fazwan sat glumly in the train
Riding through the forest and mountainous terrain
A forced upon vacation, a supposed getaway
From a corrupted partner, leading him astray
"Don't let this be your ruin, hold up your career
"Never lose your temper" [which was very near]
Though the man was caught, Sulong still was angry
This break must be the thing, to bring back his sanity

Killer sat and stared, out at the scenery
He was working on a book, of new recipes
The air was thick and cold, riding on this train
He didn't even notice, Sulong's eyes of pain
As they pulled into the station, chuffing to a stop
Killer thought he saw, a man looking like a cop
He wore a pistol 'neath his jacket; packed it like a pro
Killer's seen a few, and he allowed that he should know

A few steps ahead, where the castle loomed,
all its armed guards have met their doom.
Vile men have come with vengeance in the mind,
the host was held captive, tied in a bind.
Their bald leader. executing his plan
with hopes to free his captured weapon's man
and spread the reign of terror across the land
with the virus he made with his two hands.

No one to meet the train, promised though it was
Killer thought the weather, maybe just because
Fulong and the Killer, no where else to go
Started off and walking, through the swirling snow
Ice crusted and shivering, they stumbled and they fell
At the icy gates, they rang the frozen bell
Long minutes creeping by, then a “Hello there?”
“Who is this a ringing; “Who, I ask, does dare?”

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: singapore, SGP

Favorite Poets: Emily Dickinson, Robert Frost, Sarojini Naidu and friends in Neopoet.

More from this author

Comments

Geezer

like a good idea, Jess. think maybe we will. ~ Gee.
.

Candlewitch

this tasty morsel was very tasty, teasing and tempting...I want MORE!

*ever eddy
& curious Cat!

alidzain

Glad you liked it. This will be the first of the 3 series. Truth is it is a combination of our characters that we created in our poems. My character, Sulong Fazwan is a law enforcer and one of the members of the Hunters. Gee's Killer character happens to be a cannibal who kills and eats bad people. My inspiration to write storytelling in poetry form began with Ian's Digit.

Alid