Poem Body
A single tender
timid tear
trickling
down my pail
pain painted face .
Leading it’s
pleading sulking serenade .
Which reflects
back to me
a bitter
burning memory .
Of when our
love like a dove
flew into the
saddened sea
of fantasy.
Comments
dear Edward,
I like your poem of reminiscing...I really like these lines:
saddened sea
of fantasy.
*hugs, Cat
Thank you
I was inspired this after listening to two songs sang by Ruth etting
https://youtu.be/MbniL0zLZxo
And
https://youtu.be/fjgBara7N88
Your alliteration...
is great, and it all makes sense, not like some that I've read before. This one struck hard at me, because I have a nephew that is having seizures, and so far, they haven't been able to narrow down the cause. They have gotten progressively worse and now, he can't walk. He is brave young man like you, who has faced many challenges and keeps trying. Back to your work here, I like the way you have described the pleading, sulking serenade. I hear the "Please, please let me go, and I'll never love again. I've known that feeling. You wrote your heart, and it shows. Only thing I would change is, [pale] instead of pail. Great story! ~ Geez.
.
Thank you friend
In life everyone will encounter failure. Failure makes us human because humanity is broken we all in different ways are broken . Either emotionally, mentally , physically or socially.
We all have our inner demons in a sense .
We just have to learn to fight through them and keep moving.
Again I thank you ?
Ed
just wanted to drop in & tell you how special this poem is. You managed to give it the right amount amount of emotion & atmosphere to indulge the reader.
Top quality piece that this site needs,
enjoyed the structure & delivery,
regards
One.