mand

Aug 30, 2014

Spirited Winter Shadows

Poem Body

Spirited winter shadows,
silhouettes loosed and unencumbered.
In the rising light they joyfully play
Granted life, just once in each new day.
Black in the midst of golden vapours
Creatively dancing forest capers.
Each and every one, animated by the sun.

About This Poem

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft

About the Author

Country/Region: GBR

Comments

As ever

I enjoy your poetry. This is small, but precious.

Wes!!

Nice to see you! I hope you are well. :)

Thanks for taking the time to read and comment - it is of great encouragement to me and I truly appreciate your point of view. I hope all goes well with the work shop!

Keep safe

Love Mand xxxx

Hi Mand

Like a rising Sun, reading these crisp lines again and again made them look brighter with each read. Wesley has already made a crisp positive comment before me.

Much love..

Raj

Thank you! I feel greatly complimented - ( I'm amazed a poem of mine is worth reading more than once ) Lol

Thanks again

Love Mand xxxx

Mand

A lovely short piece that painted a great picture, not sure about the Loosed in this line:-
silhouettes loosed and unencumbered.
Would loosened be better as it gives the air of being released as apposed to being or let fly like an arrow???
Just a silly thought x
Take care, Yours Ian.T

Hellooo Ian

I hope all is well with you! :)

I much appreciate the time you have taken to read, comment and make a helpful suggestion ( which I will think seriously about ).

I have read yours, Alids and Raj's haiku's and posted my comments in the work shop! ( I must say they are all really good! )

Thanks again

LOve Mand xxxxxx

You have grown greatly as a poet since you first joined

Congratulations on your dedication and for taking the opportunities for improvement offered by Neopoet, but it is mostly on you.

Forgive this but your early poems struck me as a bit trite, a bit Pam Ayers'ish. However as you have gained confidence and learned you have shown great depth and insight without losing your friendly readability. A great achievement.

Hi Jess

Wow thanks Jess! :) I feel greatly complimented!! Neopoet has been a source of continued learning and encouragement - a great recipe for improvement! I still have a long way to go but I'm enjoying this site for it's professional tuition and honest appraisal - what more could I ask.

I just hope I can keep up the standard in future poems! If not I know I have help and good advice on this special site!

Thanks again Jess! I really appreciate the time you have taken to read, comment and offer your observations!

I hope all is well with you!

Love Mand xxxxx

Hi there, Mand

Terse, but truth-filled, and with a slight touch of melancholy, I believe! You are ongoing in your journey as a poet, and hopefully, your trip shall be filled with wonder and passion!

loosed

your use of the word
loosed

is indicative of your''' ownness''
intelligence mand

rarely used
yes loose is often

Lonnie!

Soo nice to hear from you I hope you are o.k! Well if I come anywhere near the standard of other poets on this site ( including yourself ) I will be more than happy! I have a passion for poetry - but I am under no delusions of grandeur! lol Just going with the flow and enjoying the site! + a cool glass of wine now and again. ( o.k most days ). lol

Keep safe Lonnie - see you soon ( I hope )

Love Mand xxx

mand

have heart
and
hope for folks like me

who stand apart so lonely

in a long ending queue
and where are we
and where are you

in this long queue

I alone trail behind all of you

as I feel shy to join any workshop
and prove as a shock
yes Loved knows no nuances of poetry

yet how does he produce gems
ask Jess.
can any one guess

mand

This is gorgeous, I have to say I think I have a new favourite poem from your many works

beautifully done hun Kudos

much love Jayne xxxxxx

Jayne!

Soo good to see you - I hope you are feeling a little better! I'm looking forward to future interaction - not to soon though - take it easy, a little bit at a time!

Glad you like this one! nice of you to read and make such a lovely comment!

Love to you

Mand xxxxx

Dearest mand

I am sorry I couldn't leave a more comprehensive comment, I am going to take it a day at a time, when I have the energy and the pain isn't such a bitch I expect I will be here more, I am going to be hobbling around for a while, I have a collapsible walking stick when I get tired or my legs not cooperating, I am still getting the feeling back in my left leg but my right leg is being a little more difficult I gotta work on it some more, I am going on holidays soon and I expect I will get a lot more rest then, take care hun its so good to be back among my Neo family, when I cant post it really gets to me after a while, I end up pushing myself too hard and I usually end up on my ass lol

thanks for this poem hun I really loved it and I totally agree with Jess you have come a long way since you first started at Neopoet, congratulations.

much love Jayne xxxxx

Jayne

Not problem at all - the main thing is that you work on that leg and get better! a holiday will do you a power of good and go a long way to aiding your recovery! No falling on your ass! lol

love to you - hug

Mand xxxxx

Mand and Jayne

Just can't help but to say something here,
several times I have heard that Jayne was legless,
or it may have been one of the other poets,
Who knows but now it's for real and I feel.

Not her legs you silly girls but for her ways..
Take it easy young lady and know we are here.
Thinking of your legs, and many other things,,
But don't quote me it wouldn't be fair.

I am an older man and sometimes I despair.
At the visions that float before my eyes
It hurts my memories from some time ago.
I wonder what things are for, then sleep again.

Nothing will ever be the same, I cannot regain
The things that kept my fun side so alive,
So forgive this older man if you really can
And just say poor old shit, lol

Hi Mand!

To me, this is one of your best poems that I have read. I still feel that I have a long way to go before I can reach this standard, though. I always like the poems about nature, so kudos to you! With all that is happening here, I really value the poems and the workshop that helped to offer me an escape or a form of distraction once in a while.

Alid

Wow!

Thanks Alid I feel greatly complimented - I beg to differ on the standard of your poems though!

Take it easy Alid - no over doing it! ( easier said than done I know ).

I look forward to reading more of your gems!

Love Mand xxxx