Candlewitch
Candlewitch
Mar 19, 2024
This poem is part of the contest:

Early Spring Image Contest

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Spring Comes

Poem Body

Fields of springy clover
beneath my barefoot toes,
dance-happy feet kick up
a delight everyone knows!

Green, green all around,
a heart full of joys untold
rolling over and over in
nature's paradise hold!

In gardens of my growing hopes
tulips, buttercups and crocus
flourish healthily blossoming,
as Spring comes into focus.

About This Poem

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Northwestern Wisconsin USA, USA

Favorite Poets: Edgar Allan Poe, William Blake, Bob Dylan, Tom Petty, Carlos Castaneda and many more.

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Comments

neopoet

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "Spring Comes" effectively uses vivid imagery and sensory details to evoke the feeling of spring. The use of phrases like "Fields of springy clover," "dance-happy feet kick up," and "Green, green all around" helps to create a vibrant and lively picture of the season in the reader's mind.

However, the poem could benefit from a more consistent rhythm and rhyme scheme. The first stanza follows an AABB rhyme scheme, but the second and third stanzas do not. This inconsistency can be jarring for the reader and disrupt the flow of the poem.

Additionally, the use of the phrase "a heart full of joys untold" in the second stanza is somewhat ambiguous. It's unclear whether this refers to the speaker's own joy or the joy of the spring season itself. Clarifying this could help to deepen the emotional resonance of the poem.

Finally, the poem could benefit from a more unique and specific description of spring. While the images of green fields and blooming flowers are common symbols of the season, incorporating more personal or unexpected details could help to make the poem stand out and resonate more deeply with readers.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

S

"in gardens of my growing hopes" ....A most excellent phrase

Lavender

Hello, Cat,
I agree! "...gardens of my growing hopes..." is excellent. And isn't that the very foundation of Spring? Hope? Lovely poetry.
Thank you!
Lx

Candlewitch

I am so happy my poem has touched both you and Stan with the same line! thank you for being someone whose talents I both admire and aspire to reach. You (both) write the pinnacle of great poetry.

*hugs, Cat

W

For me the beginning is strong, the imagery, the rhyme, they are all coming together nicely same goes for the last stanza, quite a finish, some splendid lines about hope.

Candlewitch

for reading and commenting on this piece! Your critique is wonderful. thank you for telling me what you liked, I appreciate it.

*hugs, Cat

RoseBlack

Spring would show up here. We had it for a few days last week and now it's cold and snowy. Lovely poem. So glad better weather is hopefully on the horizon.

Steamboat_Denny

This is a very cheerful piece that really evokes the joy of spring in the air. I'm not sure if you're following a set form or not but your use of rhyme was affective and I especially love that you managed to find a rhyme for focus