My eyes like a
seamstress
sews their sights
upon a
stern street lamp.
Stiff
and still
with the tip
of it’s crown
beautifully embalmed in
The bold yet
abysmal
color of brown .
And it’s stem
stained with steel
That over time
turned towards
teal.
Sometimes I wonder
if it was
alive
what would it
feel?
Trapped
trembling
with an
anticipation
to let out
it's flurries of
continuous thought .
Yet still be
kept encased
within it’s mind
always thinking but
never allowed
to fully
express .
Leaving those
thoughts
to repeatedly
push against
the shells of
it’s hollow
head .
Beaming brightly
back to me
with that
radiant rose
sprouting
out rays
of red .
Mar 29, 2022
A stern street lamp
Poem Body
About This Poem
Review Request Direction:
How was my language use?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
hello E.N.
I don't understand what you mean by a"stern streetlamp" could you explain it?
*hugs, Cat
Thank you
What I mean by that it’s stiff stuck staying in one place hardened with steel which in my opinion gave me the personality or traits of a stern person .
hello,
I sometimes wonder what inanimate objects would do or say if the could think or speak. like, old houses for sure.
*hugs Cat
My inspiration
https://youtu.be/TU8xjLNOuII
My inspiration
https://youtu.be/TU8xjLNOuII
Hi Edward,
This is excellent. I love the imagery, and the language. I also like the short lines, that focus my mind on images and emotions so well. This shortness of lines does make the poem a little choppy in places, but even this is not a bad thing: it heightens the emotion, makes one stop and think a little, about what is being said, and portrayed.
Very, very good. Keep them coming, young man.
Thank you
I use color because it is one of the things I think helps cement an image in your head. And you have to describe the color on top of that. And also when you are writing you have to use your words cautiously.