Poem Body
The stiffened
star strummed streams
of half hummed hopes
and dismally
dismantled dreams.
Wistfully washing
through the
withering woodlands
of the worldly
wandering truth
to what this
life really means .
The stiffened
star strummed streams
of half hummed hopes
and dismally
dismantled dreams.
Wistfully washing
through the
withering woodlands
of the worldly
wandering truth
to what this
life really means .
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Sharp!
Sometimes called initial rhyme or head rhyme, alliteration is one poetic device that’s unmissable in our everyday world. Poets, advertisers and headline writers all regularly take this approach of repeating initial letter sounds to grab people’s attention. In poetry, it also injects focus, harmony, and rhythm.
How beautiful is your wonderful pen line.
.
Thank you friend
My inspiration was harry nilssons song Remember .
https://youtu.be/TisqJTlSQgs
which it’s been hard to think because my brain and head have been healing
and I’m about to dive hastily head first into my final senior year of high school.
I was alone in my quiet room at 6am in the morning
listening to this song and thinking and it made me paint the point
of how we would never know the truth to what life means because
We’re buried underneath our hopes and dreams and paint our own meanings
for our existence.
Hi Edward
I have come to enjoy your steadily swelling style of writing. How about adding a word?
of the worldly
wandering truth
into the worldly wells
of wandering truth
actually 2 words...
just a suggestion. Hope you are well!
Thomas
Plain truth!
Anything could evoke our inspirations. Only be in tune with your mind, thought and environment. I subscribed to your statement: 'We’re buried underneath our hopes and dreams and paint our own meanings
for our existence'.
.
I think that you...
have a great outlook on life and I see from your work, that are many avenues that you have traveled, where others have not.
Yes... we have hopes and dreams and we paint ourselves into corners with our brushes of expectations, but that's alright if one knows when to put things to the side and move forward. Good luck in your senior year! I think that you will do great!
I see nothing to change here, nice job!
~ Geez.
.
Thank you friend
Thank you geezer