Sometimes I feel like I’ve known you since the world was young, since the great sycamore forests of California were saplings.
Sometimes I don’t know you at all, you’re a stranger across the bar who I’ve just locked eyes with, intriguing in the way that you are unknown.
I like both, the mystery and the understanding.
When you put your hand in mine, it is new and exciting but it’s also divinely right.
Sometimes I think the gods crafted you for me, the way we fit together so well.
I look in your eyes and all my insecurities melt away, and in their reflection I look beautiful.
It’s new, you and me,
but sycamores were saplings once too.
Jun 17, 2024
Sycamore
Poem Body
About This Poem
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Neopoet AI 5-29-23 version
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Sycamore
Hello, MM,
I like the references to the Sycamores, the feeling of mature understanding and familiarity for one another. I wonder if this may be trimmed a bit, made tighter. For example, the first line states both "since the world was young" and "since the great sycamore forests of California were saplings." I'd be tempted to take out "since the world was young" and let the reference to the sycamores stand alone. Beautiful title and intriguing final line.
Thank you!
L