Something kinder this way walks
The ether feels lighter against my being
Focus birthing new beginnings
What once was hidden I’m now seeing
Hearing voices on the wind
Sweet songs both new and timeless call
I will answer loud and true
Shockwaves breaking down these walls
Beyond the crumbled detritus
A whole new world patiently waits
What may come and what might be
Woven tapestries of fate
Comments
I like to think...
fate is an ever-changing thing. We can't always make it what we want, we can only push it aside for a new one.
I like the idea of feeling Fate as a living enity, something birthed from what we do each day, changing as it will.
This is a good piece, leaving a good taste in my mouth and feeling in my heart.
Nothing to change, as far as I can see. ~ Geez.
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Looking to the future... Expectantly
The whole feeling of the poem is forward-looking and positive. I hope that I can maintain that attitude most of the time.
The only change I would make is replace "awaits" with "waits". The rhythm feels better.
I took your advice on that
Made that change. I fully agree it flows much better with the removal of one syllable. Thanks for reading and critiquing.
Tim