threshold [Sunku]

Poem Body

silence
surrounded
gentle footsteps

open
palm anxious
for maiden touch

craving
the caress
of fluffy white

About This Poem

Last Few Words: This is my effort to keep this innovative Sunku form on the radar...by posting at least 1 sunku per month

Style/Type: Structured: Eastern

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Somewhere in the world, IND

Comments

I do not know the form that well

but enjoy the challenge of such a short poem. every word counts both in sound and how they expand.
There is a gentleness, an openness, a sensuality.

The only word that stops me is "receptacle", a cold, clinical word for me, used by chemists and engineers...so it seems out of place.

Thanks Eumolpus

for reading and commenting. ...I agree with you that "receptacle" doesn't have the same feel...I have now changed it
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I love this Sunku!

thanks IRiz for taking time

thanks IRiz for taking time to read....knowing that the one who innovated this form liked it means a lot...brought on a smile for me...