Poem Body
The poetry please!
today there is a burning fire within me
to perform a newer kind of poetry
this ignites the infallible minds of humanity
such a kind of poetry
where two lovers face one another
and
as one smiles
air-full of kisses fly
and
the crowds in great abandon....
hide behind a veil of time
no clouds are needed...
they all want an audience blind
so be it my way to say
stay
do read my works
once in a way....
have a good night or day
where ever you are...
You may...
This is another thought of the day!
Comments
burning fire
error posting
Loved
If you got rid of the commentary, this would be a good poem, with a few small changes it could be amazing, you have some great lines in this its just a shame you spoil it with all the fru fra...
love Jayne x
Advice seeded
any better tis?
Loved
I second what Jayne has said about the intro..
The theme and the write doesn't need it,
as it can stand on its own words,
Yours Ian.T