Poem Body
I imagine a dense network of tunnels;
malleable, hollow tubes narrowing
then swelling - breathing a complex
language beyond my comprehension.
The synchrony is beautiful
and I long to understand it.
Comments
Such evocative power
in such a short piece.
I have a pet peeve about using the word beautiful in a poem, there is always something better. The second stanza I think could be much improved as-
The synchronous threnody
I so long to understand.
what do you think?
my reading-
https://soundcloud.com/jess-tapper/underneath-by-violet
Violet
This is short and exquisite.
Regards,
love it....
love the tubes as breathing
a language...
love the use of language in this poem
as a metaphor
and longing
excellent poem..
thank you
Violet
Dare I say Beautiful, watching the energy flow through the tubes, our equivalent is fibre optics they carry energy and messages in a stream of light.
The music is what we can imagine and way beyond our thoughts of what is beautiful.
The communication of what we would term as the gods but each of us knows that we are a part of the whole.
Lovely write, take care, Yours Ian .T
PS:- Did you see the tubes, or did they become what you call your imagination????
Thank you..
... to each and all of you.
Ian.T,. I appreciate your thorough thought process and comment. All I can say, is that the subject matter is organic. The most complex, fascinating and beautiful one I've ever encountered, and I'll always want to know more.
texture of words....
memories......
suffusion....
chalk words on rain washed works
the footprints on the trail my dog and i
plow over with our own disregard
vision of utmost clarity
but living in the peripheral
that language i understand
like speaking underwater
sometimes
or the vents
transmission of wavelength
events of transmission
sounds like a poem title
i like your thought pattern and process
i like minds of dexterity
and nimble reason
thank you....
Pared to perfection with a
Pared to perfection with a smidgeon of ambiguity.
Loved it.
Obi.