Poem Body
An unholy scream punctures the silent landscape
pierces the gun metal grey,
against the cruel winter’s sky.
Darkest before the dawn
as agony abuses the air,
jerking in spasm.
Feathers wrenched from a muscular frame,
a pair of sleek Ravens wings , of vast dimension.
Armageddon’s warning.
Perversion and amorality his clarion call,
Innocence died.
On this ashen night.
Banished from heaven,
discarded upon the sodden earth.
Abandoned since birth.
Comments
Chyrs
Thank you
Lou
Ian
stop picking on me!...you know I am going to win, no matter how hard you try to knock me!
That said, this is an awesome poem and does make mine look somewhat half baked!
LOL!
HS
Ian
Thanks, lol
lou
Workshop: Cliches and Their Uses
Very nice! I love the darkness you brought to it.
always, Cat
Cat
Thank you Cat, i'm glad that you like it.
Lou
Bloody hell!
Lou,
this could be your best poem to date.
I couldn't choose a fav stanza, I liked them all and each stood proudly on its own and together made a real quality piece.
I liked the structure of very long lines and then short ones...so I guess it is the lack of structure I like!!
I'll come back when i have a little time and see if anything needs a tweak, but for now, good job indeed!
HS
Dan
I am really pleased that you liked it so much. It's good to be in my comfort zone, it's always best to have the freedom to express things in your own style, much easier.
Cheers
Lou
Ian
I might fall off the podium, maybe I'll just be your look out, keep my Eagle eye out LOL !!!
Lou
Jayne
Thank you so much. Yes died will probabley sound better.
love lou