Unsung Heros

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "Unsung Heros" seems to be a tribute to those who face life's challenges with courage and determination. The metaphor of "knights of old" meeting life's "ocean" is a powerful image that sets the tone for the rest of the poem. The use of oceanic imagery to represent life's struggles is effective, though it could be further developed to create a more immersive and vivid picture for the reader.

The phrase "Holding tight to our coarse" seems to be a typographical error. If the intended word was "course," this would fit the nautical theme and make sense in the context of the poem.

The poem could benefit from a more consistent rhythm or rhyme scheme to enhance its musicality and flow. As it stands, the rhythm is somewhat irregular, which can disrupt the reader's engagement.

The phrase "old soldiers are we" is a strong one, but it could be made even more impactful with some additional context or development. Who are these soldiers? What battles have they fought? Providing more details could help the reader connect more deeply with the poem's subjects.

The final line, "the call of duty stirs our blood," is a powerful conclusion. It effectively communicates the passion and dedication of the poem's subjects. However, it might be worth considering whether "call of duty" is the best phrase to use here, as it has specific connotations due to its association with a popular video game franchise. If this association is not intended, another phrase might be more appropriate.

Overall, the poem has a strong theme and some effective imagery, but could benefit from more detailed development and a more consistent rhythm.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

I like the concept. It is a bit choppy in places. I don't know if this would be any better:

as knights of old,
we meet life's ocean,
mysterious and temperamental
Her mountainous waves
assault our boats...
with leviathan-like force.
we meet her battering,
resolutely unswerving,
holding tight to our course.
fighting for each small gain,
battle by battle...
old soldiers are we;
in the end,
falling one by one.
living hard,
rising to each cause
the call of duty, of honor, stirs our blood!

Viking ships and warriors and getting ready for battle. I love the old lore feel of this one. Well done!