Upon The Starship Pheonix

Poem Body

I look upon the night skies
And a little star twinkle
Like a pixie in the sky

My lil sis Jeanette got her wings
Among the stars darting forth
From left to right she dances for me
Upon the starship Phoenix.

About This Poem

Last Few Words: Remembering my lil sis

Review Request Intensity: Please use care (this is a sensitive subject for me, do not critique harshly)

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: United States, USA

Favorite Poets: Billy Collins, Shakespeare, , Emily Dickinson, , , Whitman, Jess Tapper

Comments

Hi Carolina girl

I get the feeling this is based on reality so you have my sympathy. I hope to see you around more

hi Stan

thanks for stopping by. just remembered my sister. She left us in 2020 at the height of covid, 1 months few days after my mother left.

Barbara

As Stan said it feels like reality in which case a critique is not applicable.

The shortness actually adds to the emotion. Just the right amount of depth & feeling to create the scene & atmosphere.

Well delivered,

One.

thanks One

It's nice to meet you. as I said to stan already I"m remembered her in writing it.

dearest Barbara,

I agree with Stan and one, Geezer, too. I am so sorry for your loss.
but it is so very good to see you! I am chasing my own tail in happiness from your return!!!

*love, Cat

Thanks Cat

I appreciate you stopping by and sharing your kind sentiments

Like Stan...

and one have said; It is good to see you again, even though the subject is one of sorrow. So sorry for your loss. ~ Geez.
.

Thanks Geezer

I appreciate your sentiment. I will look for the Challenges Titles and do so