What are you really?
I think you’re a Drug
A sweet sweet Drug
That I keep resisting
Don’t want to get addicted
I fear it’ll ruin me
My life and my loved ones’
So I keep resisting
But how much I keep yearning
To hold you close to me
To laugh with you, to have fun
Yet I keep resisting
I am scared to admit
What now I really feel
For then there won’t be any turning
So I’ll keep resisting
Last Few Words: Ps. I would greatly appreciate if any one could suggest me a better title to this, as I'm not happy with the current title at all. Also, please feel free to point out if you feel that some words should be changed to make the poem sound better.
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Maybe "Afraid Of Loving You"
Maybe "Afraid Of Loving You" Something like that.
Loved the poem - It touched my heart - I found myself hoping that true love finds a wayr!
Thanks for sharing!
Love Mand xxxx
Thank you Mand
Truly appreciate your suggestion and glad you like it.
Love
Nilmini
u treat your lover as a drug
u treat your lover ...or one you love
as a drug
you do want to consume him
but you are still scared
he will consume...............
nice thought
if it be so
lovers one gets
only from heaven you know
drugs simply in grass grow
foots stamp them
down below
No it's not a lover
No, it's not about a lover but about somebody who tries to become a special someone. Although I enjoy his company I don't want him to cross the line because I don't want to make things complex.
I like your answer in a poem, especially the part, "you do want to consume him...but you are still scared.. he will consume.........". Exactly the idea I had!
By the way, did you mean "foots stamp them" or "fools stamp them"?
Thanks and best regards
u r
not posting any lady?