Poem Body
Talking to flowers for even a while,
makes you so happy and draws on a smile,
warms up your day with a very good start and
always fulfills with a sweetness your heart.
May 07, 2017
What Flowers Do?? Catalectic dactyl
About This Poem
Style/Type: Structured: Western
Review Request Direction:
How was my language use?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
The last verse has trouble.
The rest works.
"always fulfills with "a" sweetness your heart".
How is that?
spot on
thank you sir.
i believe truths
i bought my mother flowers
even with the lovehate
and i planted them
and I tend them
I dont mind tire kickers
but they never get their
hands dirty
my nails are dirty from
risks
and other
show me the hands
no calluses no dirt
no love no risk
liars.....
thanks for this truth
Rula1
mr dug in living it wolfie..
Thank you
For the kind visit and the comment. Wolf
Perhaps it is thus Theorem to the quark of Luck
spake to persophones ghost
the flower of flax
in lilac breath
Sitting still
and I the image
of my host
reflect
an image of the dell
the grieving pain of
madness dwell
fair flower
neath same sky
she gentle speaks
gently weeps
the petals of the pain
like jazz brush drummer
hiss of springs still
chilled cool rains
arising heat of
the need for survival
Climbing for the sun
this day
is yet
not done
(old muse on admiring
the admiring flower)
just been through a lot
and some new muse
has arrived
and yes
Take time to Love the flowers
Mr Wolf
(for mr esker)
Catalectic dactyl spoils the gentle continuance of Dactyl to me.
I's valid, it has its purpose, but not for me.
I don't have a problem with the catalectics as long as they're
consistent. Good dactyl. Amazing how far you've come. No, not amazing. Natural. You have become a very good and functional poet.