What are you looking for?
What did you see?
Going in or out?
What’ll it be?
Now you got me thinking.
Looking both ways in the mirror,
Just to see what’s behind of me.
And I hope you catch your dreams,
Go far like a wildfire,
Hope you found a sucker in me,
Go on
Just,
Not with me.
Last Few Words: Yeah I guess she was like a wildfire. You come to realize at one point that you've spent enough time thinking about how others think of, or thought of you. You come to realize that you don't really fit into they're new lives, and that it's time to forget about them, even though they're still you're friends. Don't look at this as sad, depressing, or dark. Sort of a new beginning, to realize you've got a lot of other great people in your life.
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft
Comments
A good theme
I could feel the disappointment. Relationships don't always success but this should not hinder our progress.
"When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us."
Alexander Bell
PS. S1 L3 "Going in our out".... (do you mean to say "Going in [or] out?"
Interesting poem.
I like the use of spare rhyme. I offer one suggestion only. Perhaps add the work "the" before "mirror".
That's the only change I could come up with. Sometimes poets shy from the use of articles that would make their language more natural for the expedience of maintaining meter. However, because of the loose meter of the poem I don't see this addition as problematic.
correction
Your right on adding the "the" I just didn't catch the error when I was reviewing