Worth

It’s my universe and I created it.
When it was cold and dark
And it hurt and I cried
That was me

That was my existence and I hated it
Sadness turned to anger
Self loathing precipitated
Viscous despair

A vest of depression and I weighted it
Piled on mistakes and regrets
And dragged them around like a
Security blanket

But then…

Gravity clawed the garment and frayed it
All things have a shelf life
And even as my torment
Fell behind me
I’d find myself going back to gather it
And juggle as I walked

This graceless dance I can’t maintain it
I loosed the cannon balls to the ground
And took notice, how they barely rolled
The terrain caved with their density
And things became a bit less noisy
Especially when no one else was around

And they’re not all gone of course
I’ll always carry a few
A couple pretty stones in my pocket
Maybe a lead weight or two

But that which can’t fit in my hand
I’m learning to cast it to the earth
And learning also that sad mistakes
Are often pathways towards rebirth
Never street signs for your worth

It’s my universe and here I stand
And I have hope and faith
And it makes me smile
And it makes me cry
But it’s mine and it does what I say