Rainy Day
Rainy Day
Feb 05, 2016

You

Poem Body

You frustrate me
You who gives just enough
But never too much
And never till it hurts
Who shares but keeps secrets
Who is honest but lies

You anger me
You enrage me
You hurt me
You confuse me
And I love you
Then I hate you
Not really you
But the way you make me feel

And I want to show you
And I want to teach you
I want you to hear
Listen, not just hear
And know
That you aren’t always right
And you don’t understand
Because you don’t take the time
To

And I know I am flawed
But you hold so little harshly against me
When you carry so many sins
Of your own that you don’t recognize
And you think you know best
And you love what you hate
And you love just enough
To frustrate

And you are consumed
And you are wrapped up
You can't just once
Not answer
You can’t just once
Let go
Throw down and get lost
Get lost and drunk on life
And not snap and worry
Not find fault
Just be
And let me be
And let it all flow

And you never ask
How I am
And even if you asked
I would wonder do you care
Because you don’t see yourself
And you don’t see me
And you don’t need me
But you think you do
And if you only really knew
What you thought you knew
And would do what I need you to
How different
Things might be
Between me and you.

About This Poem

Last Few Words: I originally wrote this as one solid stanza without any breaks but decided to break it up because it was so long. Do the breaks work in the poem? Would it flow better to remove the breaks? Thanks in advance for any advice.

Review Request Direction: How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?

Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: The South, US, USA

Favorite Poets: William Blake, Edgar Allen Poe, Robert Frost, Joyce Kilmer, Walt Whitman, Elizabeth Barrett Browning, Robert Browning

More from this author

Comments

S

Stanzas in poetry work a lot like paragraphs in prose. They give a reader a chance to pause and think about what he/she just read before continuing..........stan

Geezer

a very good comment on a broken relationship. One has to care about their partner in order to become a good partner to them. Stan is right, I found it easier to read than if it were just one long paragraph. And it did give one something to think about! ~ Geezer