raj
Nov 10, 2014
This poem is part of the workshop:

Can you make a limerick serious?

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Carnal Instincts (Serious Limerick WS)

Poem Body

Women are raped, who's to shame
Cops make blunder, who's to blame
dignity stolen
hearts broken
carnal instincts name of thy game

About This Poem

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Somewhere in the world, IND

More from this author

Comments

Barbara Writes

Rape is a hot subject today and this limerick may offend, tho I don't think this is your intent.
Esp after this stupid college president, who needs to be fired, told an assembly of female students, filing lawsuit bc their rapes aren't taken serious by the school, that he know for a fact that three girls lied on some boys a week bf. bc they didn't get what they wanted after being with the boys. Dead silence.
That's never an excuse to keep rapist from being held accountable and female victims treated with compassion and not as if they are at blame bc of the few bad apples.
"Women are raped, who's to shame" needs to reflect compassion for those truly raped bc those who are liars don't matter bc they should be held accountable period and those who are telling the truth should be treated like victims not the "H" word.
"Cops make blunder, who's to blame" well its according to who you're talking to. Michael Brown can't be a blunder bc of the overwhelming evidence. Other cases such as, Trayvon Martin can have blunder discussions, disagreements and get no where,
"carnal instincts name of thy game" I'm not sure its as much carnal instinct as it is hatred for women bc if it so sexual there are many loose women giving it up free why vicious attack them and or the females saying no.
Otherwise a well written limerick I think.

R

Sorry to know that this one got you enraged and upset. Thanks for sharing your honest opinion though. I am thinking of unpublishing this one if i receive more of such feed backs.

Apologies.

Barbara Writes

its not your limerick that got me enraged. it the callus treatment of women when they are raped. your limerick is good for as I can see.
coming from you it was sincere. writing about such a controversy subject can be tricky is all I meant.

Rula

Rula

10 years 5 months ago

not sure of if this tells a certain story as I see barbara is aware of. I think you're having a good content here.
However, I am not sure you've given the limerick form its justice as yet. The rhyme scheme however is spot on.
Thanks for sharing.

R

Thanks for your time and comment. I have already responded to Barbara's comment. I think after several tries, I am not good enough at Limerick.

Regards,

Rula

Please don't be disheartened by anyone's comment.
I appreciate the theme very much but wasn't sure if your meter meets the limerick's meter. If I was sure I would've voted for this one without hesitation.

R

raj

10 years 5 months ago

In reply to by Rula

Thanks for stopping by again and for your words of encouragement.

Regards,

lovedly

u win
tell Jess
ask for rum or gin

lovedly

my vote goes to you
tell em all
and ensure my vote is not wasted
hahahaaaa

lovedly

carnal ????
i see u have been lately very silent
never even read one
after 10 nov