raj
Jan 10, 2011

Moonlight Kiss

Poem Body

Softer than a pillow
pinker than its lace
your lips comfort me
with a silken caress

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Somewhere in the world, IND

More from this author

Comments

R

thank you for your lovely comment and response in a very lovely romantic verse....

much love...

Nordic cloud

What sweet simplicity of expression in the bliss of togetherness unfettered and undisturbed.

Love to you from Ann.

R

i am truly touched by your comment..coming from seasoned poets like you it is very inspiring...thank you for the read ..

much love...

R

raj

14 years 3 months ago

thank you for the read and comment which is much appreciated..

warmly...

loved

loved

14 years 3 months ago

Your lips divine
Give me an opportunity
To define
That as we place
A lip upon lip
We would perhaps
Entwine
Like a vine
Ending up
In my most favourite
Frenchy

R

once again i am awed and touched by the spontaeinity of your beautifull poetic response...

much love...

R

raj

14 years 3 months ago

thank you for your comment ...it is a delight to know that you found this to be worthy to bookmark.,...

much love...

mand

mand

14 years 3 months ago

So sweet and yet full of romantic feeling. What a lovely tribute this would make for someone special.

Brilliant

Love Mand xxxxxxx

Hooded Stranger

Hooded Stranger

14 years 3 months ago

Raj,

short and sweet...I prefer your longer poems but this does still hold its appeal.

I wasn't sure if you intended for the second and fourth line to rhyme...it would give it a rounded flow if it did, so you could change the last word to:

Softer than a pillow
pinker than its lace
your lips comfort me
with a silken caress (embrace)

Just a thought my friend,

HS

R

raj

14 years 3 months ago

very sorry for being late on this one...suggestions are always most welcome...i did give a good thought to the change proposed by you..as rightly said by you, the word ."embrace" does give the poem a more rounded look phonetically w.r.t. "lace" in line 2....however since it is in the context of "lips" i feel the word "caress" (like the gentle caress of moon light) is a better fit...

please never stop making suggestions and/or critique..i thrive on them ...

warmly...

Hooded Stranger

Hooded Stranger

14 years 3 months ago

Raj,

your reasoning is sound - I won't stop offering advice, don't you worry.

Keep up the writing...especially the 'dark' stuff.

regards,

HS