THE BEHEADING OF SAINT JOHN

Poem Body

Dark pigment demonstrates artists skill, illuminating scene,
Lead white, picks out trauma and the cruelty is between.
In subtle darkness Caravaggio adds layers of lust and loathing,
He uses skill his expressions of grief, garbed in religious clothing.

Two inmates watch from prison window, horror in their faces,
Half-hidden, forever in the dark, secured within their places.
I stood before the image, to stare at the bloody signature,
His message held me fast as the gore of tightened ligature.

Dogma subtlety formed by brave hand, true story is concealed,
Master of darkness delivers violence, and the anguish is revealed.
His fiery temper led him here, to escape a murder verdict,
The scene he paints of life itself, this artist was imperfect.

A thuggish brute with flawless vision gives viewers the full story,
He painted symbols, saints and believers, naked in their glory.
Macabre depiction, valued life, slaughtered on the canvas,
To see in his work his history, we judge as he demands us.

Caravaggio as his life, his death became a mystery,
His paintings stand the test of time as do his crimes and history.
Painter’s demise, it was assumed, linked to a lack of self-restraint.
The great man died from lead poison, used in the artist’s paint.

About This Poem

Last Few Words: Caravaggio's painting, The Beheading of John The Baptist was one I saw in Florence in late 90's early 2000's. If you want to see the painting you have to travel to Malta now, its original home. But you can get an idea of the painting from this link: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Beheading_of_St_John_the_Baptist_(Caravaggio)#/media/File:La_decapitaci%C3%B3n_de_San_Juan_Bautista,_por_Caravaggio.jpg All comments gratefully received :)

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Country/Region: United Kingdom

Favorite Poets: I like Margaret Atwoods poetry and I enjoy her writing. She has a natural ability to make her fiction read like poetry, if you read closely you will see it., I have a good understanding of the English language but I don't always follow the rules as I can be a little lazy and sometimes I'm just tired., I've been inspired reading the poetry on Neopoet and have enjoyed analysing other people's work.

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Comments

Neopoet AI

The below is a computer generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "The Beheading of Saint John" showcases the skillful use of language to depict Caravaggio's famous painting. The poet's descriptive language and use of vivid imagery capture the gruesome nature of the scene and the emotional turmoil of the characters involved. The inclusion of the prison inmates adds an interesting layer to the poem, highlighting the darkness and despair that permeates the painting.

One area where the poem could be improved is in its structure. The poem feels disjointed at times, with abrupt transitions between stanzas. Adding transitional phrases or sentences could help to smooth out these rough edges and create a more cohesive piece.

Overall, "The Beheading of Saint John" is a well-executed poem that pays homage to both Caravaggio's artwork and his tumultuous life. With a few minor tweaks, the poem could be even stronger and more impactful.

Suggested line edit: "He uses his skill to express his grief, dressed in religious clothing."

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Thanks Bot for your comments

Thanks Bot for your comments and your suggestions. I don't want to extend the line as you suggested because it will affect the metre. I'll take another look at the structure though, thank you, :)