I was dressed in school colours, bottle green
On my first encounter with Sister Pauline.
The habit she wore and her stare intensive,
In making me silent, I grew defensive.
The courage I had, was pulled straight from my soul,
with Sister Pauline demanding control.
In her weird sayings, she was purposely hard,
And the words that she spoke, I’d disregard.
‘Girls, if you’re at a party and the lights go off,
Jump up on the table, yes boys, they’ll scoff.
but tell them the truth, loud and without fear,
I’m a good catholic girl, don’t come near’
‘And if a boy asks you to sit on his knee,
Don’t agree without a phone directory.
Better practice is to use two such books,
Bad boys want you tight upon their hooks.’
I figured out why she’d stand by her word,
Sister Pauline’s statements, cried, I’m absurd.
Clear frustration in this woman that I knew,
And resentment, because her lovers always withdrew.
Comments
Neopoet AI
The below is a computer generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
The poem "Sister Pauline" paints a vivid picture of a strict and unconventional nun who leaves a lasting impression on the speaker. The use of school colors and the description of Sister Pauline's habit effectively transport the reader to the setting of a Catholic school. The poem's rhyme scheme and meter flow nicely, adding a playful tone to the somewhat dark subject matter.
However, the poem's message becomes somewhat muddled towards the end. The sudden shift from cautionary advice to the revelation that Sister Pauline had spent most of her life sitting on a man's knee feels disconnected and confusing. It would benefit from a clearer connection between the two themes.
Additionally, the line "Makes sure your separated with a phone directory" could be edited to "Make sure you're separated with a phone directory," to correct the grammatical error.
Overall, "Sister Pauline" is an engaging and well-crafted poem that could benefit from some clarity in its messaging.
Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact
Thanks Bot. A demonstration
Thanks Bot. A demonstration of how humans and AI are different. Humans recognise irony whereas Bots can't or don't. I think it's can't I know there are some people who don't understand irony but most of the human race does. I've corrected my typo, thank you for that.
dear Ruby,
he got one thing right (AI) it is a well crafted poem. Sister Pauline seems to have had a penchant for being dreary. while the priest is more sinister... I need to think on this for awhile.
*hugs, Cat
Thank you Cat.
Thank you Cat.
Sister Pauline was a bit of a cow but hey, I don't suppose every teacher had to be nice ha ha. The school was run by nuns so there was no escape from their religion. I think it turned me into a rebel, I didn't rnjoy that school at all. Ruby :)
Who Was He?
The question that this poem leaves me with is: Upon who's knee had Sister Pauline sat? Was it some priest within her order or someone from her past prior to joining the sisterhood? The former might be the reason that "She was the nun who had complete control", while the latter might be the reason that she joined the sisterhood.
Of course, there is the third possibility that both of those possibilities were true. What a hard life for her!
Thank you for your comments and question.
Ahhhh, originally I said it was a priest but I changed it to a man, cowardly of me but I've had negative reactions to some of my work before when I've implicated a priest or a nun in my fiction work ha ha.
Sister Pauline isn't a work of fiction, she really did make those two statements to the girls but I don't know if she sat on a man's knee, I made that up.
The headmistress was a nun, she was very good looking and a year after I left school she left the school and got married.
Yes, their lives seem to be hard but Sister Pauline liked to make life difficult for the girls. :(
Oh, I truly hope that she got
Oh, I truly hope that she got to sit on a mans knee!,,
(I like to think your nun was,,, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FE-BKrAAZGc
The Catholic school just up the road from my heathen school used to make girls wear two pairs of knickers.
I'm curious as to your comment "I've had negative reactions to some of my work before when I've implicated a priest or a nun in my fiction work ha ha." You mustn't be afraid to annoy, embarrass, offend anyone,,,,,,, fuck 'em I say!
Obi.
Ha ha, no Sister Pauline was
Ha ha, no Sister Pauline was the one with the not so wise words. Sister Judith was the one who got married and had a baby, but I don't know if she was pregnant before she got married or after, who knows? I liked the video link :) very good.
I wrote a book a few years ago, it's based on the church and nuns and priests and you know..... Well some of my reviews were not good, mainly from the catholics ha ha. https://www.amazon.co.uk/No-Blacks-Dogs-Irish-ebook/dp/B00EDQCEKG/ref=s…
Thank you for you comments Obi, always good to read and yeah, fuck em, I've changed it back. Ruby :)
You must not...
be afraid of offending everyone or you will please no one! I don't know if anyone has ever said that, or I just made it up, but it certainly seems true. I liked this one, it is a story, that likely seems true. I've known a few people that have been so narrow minded, and obsessive about sex and not having it, that they border on crazy. [Maybe even crazy].
The title is good, the story better, and the language equally so.
The pace and rhythm not too bad; the meter could use some attention and the piece
would certainly profit by some work on it. It is a good, solid piece that deserves a little bit of TLC. ~ Geezer.
.
Thank you Geezer, I'll take
Thank you Geezer, I'll take another look at it. It is a true story, apart from the ending, but who knows, even that may be true? She told the girls what to do at a party if the lights went off and not to sit on a boys knee without two telephone directories. I think she liked to take the fun out of life :)
All the nuns were obsessed with sex, as were the girls. All those raging hormones had to be expressed some how. Ruby :)
Thank you Mark for your
Thank you Mark for your support and comments. Nuns, yes, I never understood why they were so cruel. Many of the girls in my school were made to stand on the stage after assembly, and made to drink water, laced with washing up liquid if they were caught smoking or swearing. The Nuns had very warped ideas. Ruby :)
A poem that reflects the
A poem that reflects the early school days dominated by nuns. I’ve been there, experienced some of the cruelty. Not all nuns were cruel, it only takes a few to dirty up the rest!
I know what you mean, it was
I know what you mean, it was like a competition at my school but I can't say I remember any of them with fondness which is sad. Thank you for your comment. Ruby :)
Religion is always a source of consternation!
Do you believe the bullshit
the brain is pitching us?
You have got to be insane!
Running round with your eyes cast to the ground.
Is God such a heathen
That He would leave you
without reason.
To stem the tide of blackness
Welling up from inside you?
Come now, make sense of
this mess.
Goodness and virtue are at
your core
Whether or not you pass
some godforsaken test.
Can you not look Him in the eyes
and believe anything less?
He put it inside you!
Lay down your self scrutiny and rest!
Then stand again and walk on.
What this brought out in me
were the feelings, intense feelings of a
young girl under scrutiny and condemnation
as well as emotional suffocation.
I would say your response is
I would say your response is poetic in itself. Your words are carefully considered and reflect perfectly on my poem.
Thank you for reading and your thoughts on my poem. Ruby :) xx
I'm highly offended.!
I'm not and like thay all say above me don't worry about offending anyone I enjoyed it thank you
Hi Jokerface, thank you for
Hi Jokerface, thank you for your comment. I hope never to offend anyone, but hope and reality are very different :)
Now I think, if people are offended, how the hell do they get through life? There are so many offensive things happening across the world.
I do appreciate your comments, Ruby :) xx
Yup
Freedom of speech is getting taken away from us A. I getting more insane soon no humans will be working in an office
a shop anywere even the powers to be have got even worst changing all the Ronald dahls books and trying to change
Fiction horror, extreme horror. Then we have what pronouns shall I use to speak to you ? to address you so you are not offended then we have chipping pandemic just goes on. Anyway blahhh to tht I just see more censorship all the time
I Voted for you so good luck
Good luck....
Thank you so much, I
Thank you so much, I appreciate it. Ruby :) xx