Collaborative Couplet Quatrains

It begins now for those ready to get started. I'll start the discussion in a few or you can by starting the discussion with the subjects/themes we might tackle.

Count me in

dear Barbra
sounds interesting especially to awake the sleepy muse :)

Barbara

I have never written in:-
Rhyming couplets in quatrains and "Iambic Tetrameter" in my life.
Now I will have a go at this as it is a challenge to my mind.

"I shall research the terms firstly"

I think that this line is one of those Iambic Tetrameters, you will need patients with me on this one.. I will try..
Yours as unusual Ian.T

almost, mate!

it is tetrameter
however the meter is questionable. I would parse it as

I shall/ research/ the terms/ firstly [the last foot is trochaic instead of iambic]

We don't say firstlee, we say firstly

Just a little error shall I say:- I shall/ research/ the terms/ before?
I did try, the line was just Serendipity, and I was trying to be good!
Oh well back to the drawing board lol..
I can see that this workshop is going to be very hard for some..
Yenti cannot compile poetry.. LOL
Take care young Elf great to have your excellent crit again, Yours Ian.T

Barbara and I are not likely to be as strict

as me alone. Quatrains sometimes alternate meter between stanzas, but it's good to stick to one meter within each line and stanza.

Yes, you were bloody close. I know you can do it. Just get that ear in! Say the lines out loud, experimentally putting the stress in unusual places, you'll here what sounds natural.

Ian

A good line 'I shall/ research/ the terms/ before?'

A nice first line.

Tired eyes/ up late/ can't sleep/ tonight.

I'm still learning meters too :)

Ian

That's a great first try

did you mean

patience Ian

''a patient I will be
if i try any poetry
and show ignorance
that speaks all about me...''''

Hi Barbara!

Please include me. This sounds like a blast!

Ron
BlueDemon77

Hey Ian and Ron

Thanks for joining you have been added. I'm sure you're do fine Ian. And Ron a blast for sure glad you joining. You too have need added.
Looking forward to your discussions.

Hi Carolina girl

Count me in but it will be Monday before I can do much............stan

Stan

Thanks for joining. Monday is fine. Looking forward to your discussion.

hi, Barbera,

I believe that I actually WOULD like to be added to your quatrain, couplet rhyming list of equally, adventuresome & talented poets!
Thank-you for the honor;
sincerely,
doc.

you're in, Doc,

glad to see you here.

Doc

Thanks for joining. Can't wait to see what you have to offer.

Are we supposed

to start a discussion? If yes, what's to be discussed
Or should we start submitting the lines?
Are we supposed to submit a line a time or a couplet( two lines) or a quatrain (four lines) a time?

Thanks dear Barbra

Rula

We start discussion of subjects/themes we might tackle.

Each person would write a four line Quatrain with rhyming couplets.

Emily Dickinson poem " Because I could not stop for death " is a favorite of mind. We see her poem alternate line of tetrameter with alternating lines of iambic trimeter, which hold only three feet instead of four.

Because I could not stop for Death

"Because I could not stop for Death,
He kindly stopped for me;
The carriage held but just ourselves
And Immortality."

I see Emily theme or subject is death. The first line set the tone for the whole stanza. I suepect whoever gets to write the first stanza chooses the theme. As the poem progress the original theme may change somewhat as writers add their four line quatrains. By the end of the poem I think there may still be remnants of the original theme. At least I'm hoping.

To get started
Why not everyone write one line of verse with an intended theme they wanna use then we can choose what theme we wanna go with. That'll be the first step. Once I have everyone first line I'll compile it for discussion. The theme that gets first place gets to start the poem.

This is new concept so I'm making it up as we go.

We're working with tetrameter only, but I think alternating lines of trimeter is cool and would give this epic poem some spice for those wanting to mix it up.

This is up for discussion.

As for rhyming you choose a format. AABB or ABAB or AABC your choice. Just some ideas I'm throwing out there.

Just a thought

I looked for the aged reasons
Though yet did fear the chill seasons
As memory cools my older ways
Can I now think of better days..

Rewritten to try and conform to dum da in all lines, it is quite hard for me as I stress in the wrong places:-

I looked for ages the reason fled
Though yet did fear the chill of dread
As memory cools my older ways
I Can think now of better days..

Not sure of some of these words and how their syllables are stressed but I had a go, Yours Ian.T

Let's talk about themes and topics first

but in the mean time, here is how I parsed this

I looked/ for the ag/ed reas/ons
Though yet/ did fear/ the chill/ seasons
As mem/ory cools/ my ol/der ways [perfect Iambic Tetrameter!]
Can I /now think of/ better/ days..

that is

da DUM/ da da DUM/ da DUM/ da
da DUM/ da DUM/ da DUM/ DUM da
da DUM/da DUM/ da DUM/da DUM
DUM da / DUM da da/ DUM da/ DUM

Some people are tone deaf, yet learn music, you might well be meter deaf. Apart from reading aloud and trying different stresses, also try what Stan does: the dictionary phonetic spelling of words tells you where the stress is, if your ear can't hear it.

Parsing is not an exact science and different accents stress differently. But not this differently

Good to keep it loose Barbara,

though working with structure is part of the exercise. If everyone uses a mix of meters and rhyming schemes from the outset, it will lead to virtual freeform for sure.

How about everyone's first stanza is strictly Iambic Tetrameter (da DUM / da DUM / da DUM / da DUM) in rhyming couplets (AABB, that is what couplet means, it is in the title of the workshop).

But that is getting ahead of ourselves.
I like
" Because I could not stop for death "
and offer
"Possible Futures"

Jess

I agree.

O.K here is my share

The hell and(the)heaven aren't the same,
One's cool, the other burns in shame.
The heaven's faces grin and smile,
While sinful ones in hell shall pile.

slight modification on the last two lines

a second version as it might read better:

The hell and(the)heaven aren't the same,
One's cool, the other burns in shame.
The heaven's faces grin with smiles,
while sinful ones in hell are piles.

Rula, I truly admire you enthusiasm

but have we agreed on the theme yet?

Before we actually start posting stanzas for the group poem? It's up to Barbara to decide

In the interim

The hell/ and heav/en are/n't the same, [near perfect, aren't is arguably two syllables]
One's cool/, the oth/er burns/ in shame.
The heav/en's fac/es grin/ with smiles,
while sin/ful ones/ in hell/ are piles.

all perfect Iambic Tetrameter.

Well done.

You see my point? Let's all do our first stanzas as Iambic Tetrameter and for later stanzas maybe branch into Trochaic and Trimeters.

Thank you Jess

No problem if my stanza isn't chosen as a first stanza.I really enjoyed for mere writing in strict meter as I didn't for a while.

Hey everyone

Rula great verse. I'll admit The first line stumbled me a bit because (aren't) is pronounce with two syllables as well one.

One syllable makes it easy. Anyone pronouncing it as two may find it troublesome. So the accuracy of the first is decided by the reader as Jess pointed out. With that said, its up to you. I'll accept it as you choose it.

If any want to write the entire quatrain, that fine with me or you can write just the first line and add the rest later. Whatever is easier for you. We can still discuss the theme of each first line before starting the poem.

Rula I see your theme is the difference between hell and heaven. Ian your theme, fled..

I think the first line set the tone of the entire quatrain and the next poem should complement the one before it.

I too am tone deaf to meter lol so I'm paying lose attention to Jess critique. At the end of this workshop I hope to be better at hearing the meter. :)

Theme First-line List (Tetrameter)

1. The hell and heaven aren't the same, (Rula)
One's cool, the other burns in shame.
The heaven's faces grin with smiles,
while sinful ones in hell are piles.

2. I looked for ages reason fled (Ian)
Though yet did fear the chill of dread
As memory cools my older ways
I Can think now of better days..

3. The nighttime heat, summer is here, (Barbara)

4. While walking through the deep dark woods. (Stan)

Barbara

I think that Nighttime is a double Da Da ??? What say you ??

The night is warm, summer is here,
My beans are growing that is clear
The soil it erupted letting them through
A sea of green to feed us anew

Yours Ian.T
PS:- If write I am amazed I be !!

Ian

I'm not sure Jess is better at meter than I am. It does though sound like there's more than one meter feet. Iamb and trochaic. I'm listening close for understanding.

Usually the first part is

Usually the first part is stressed in words like INto / WELcome. This is how I parse the line

The night|time heat| summer| is here

I am not sure though, maybe jess can confirm

correct Rula, but not always

Ian, try saying aloud NIGHTtime nightTIME. If you can't hear the stress, try volume, it works similarly, say one syllable loudly. Try saying it longer or shorter. Eventually you will hear that it is the same as you naturally speak. English is a stress based language.

Jess

Yep you are right, it is according to what you are doing at night, right.
That soft inflection can be either end, so the men in the white coats were outside looking for someone shouting NIGHT TIME, Thanks I think I am getting the hang of it lol.
Take care young Jess, Know we are there with you, Yours Ian, And Friends..

Now I am really concerned

Do you hear all English as though it is being shouted by men in white coats outside?

Jess

It's OK now the wife has put her hearing aids in so everything is quiet again,lol, Yours Ian

OK one line

While walking through the deep dark woods.........................Now Barb gave an example which had both trimeter and tetrameter. So are we going to allow variances when the writing begins?.............stan

it has been suggested and agreed

that we do attempt to stick to iambic tetrameter for the first few stanzas, so everyone gets a chance to writ to form.

Jess,

I did try but maybe you missed the four lines I wrote:-

The night is warm, summer is here,
My beans are growing that is clear
The soil it erupted letting them through
A sea of green to feed us anew

Yours Ian.T

How did I do was it pretty ???

pretty

The night/ is warm/, summer/ is here, [iamb, iamb, trochee, iamb]
My beans/ are grow/ing that/ is clear [iamb, iamb, trochee, iamb]
The soil/ it e/rupted/ letting/ them through [iamb, trochee, trochee, trochee, iamb]
A sea/ of green/ to feed/ us anew [iamb, iamb, iamb, anapest]

Damn Damn and more Damn

If this is proper poetry writing, no wonder it takes so long to make a decent poem up lol.
This is my next attempt ????

A night of warmth, the day is here,
My beans now grow a race is clear
The soil erupts to let them through
A sea of green to feed us seen.

The word Warmth I was thinking it was two syllables WARM th but if not I have added "the" in that line ???

Don't you give up on me now this is bloody hard for me lol and crying at the same time, not really LOL
Yours Ian

Getting there boyo! Iknew you could get the hang of this!

Warmth is one syllable, just as plurals don't add a syllable, there is no vowel sound there.

Warm/warms/warmth/warmed (the e is not sounded) all one syllable

warming/warmer/warmest all 2 syllables.

Stan

Sounds like a good one to me. I'll add it to the list.

Beginning?

In a timely waking, looking broken
Thundered roars intimidating spoken
To haunt the past and slant the future war
Remember just the innocence before

Hope you all dig it.

Ron
BlueDemon77

Sounds good

I notice all four of your line are 10 syllables instead of 8 syllable tetrameter. I'm learning meter here too it is challenging for me as well.

my parsing, not an exact science,

regional accents can change it slightly

In a time/ly wak/ing, look/ing brok/en [anapest/iamb/iamb/iamb/truncated iamb]
Thundered/ roars in/timi/dating/ spoken [trochaic pentameter]
To haunt/ the past/ and slant/ the fut/ure war [iambic pentameter]
Remem/ber just/ the inn/ocence/ before [iambic pentameter]

Hi Jess, I understand what you mean......

but disagree on the "IF" assessement, it is most often stoken as an emphasized word here. I made all the other mistakes: The whole first line is throchaic (Dum dum Dum dum) instead of the da Dum of Iambs. If in the way it's spoken here is an emphasized word. I love this craft work. Looking forward to more.

Ron
BlueDemon

A timely waking. ,looking broken, trapped
cold thunder roars, intimidates the slaves
will haunt the past and slant the future war
remember just the innocence before

Better?

yes

That's one of the biggest problems in parsing, the differences in pronunciation from even within the same country much less from one country to another.............stan

either way,

Barbara did ask for Tetrameter, not Pentameter.

Ron

You doing good, now if you get it down to 8 syllables (tetrameters), rhyme your couplet, then its ready to be added to the theme list for discussion later. Thanks for joining.

Hi Barbara!

a city awakens brushing
suicides and junkies flushing
with her human bone comb snagging
drones watch football huffing, bragging

Ron
BlueDemon77

Dang

I thought we were doing single lines

Stan

We are doings one lines. It is okay for those doing all four. We will be using just the first line for theme discussing and using in the first quatrain that starts the epic poem later. Just jump in with you one line for discussion.

I'm listing them as we go. Once everyone has participated we'll choose whose first line gets to be the subject/theme.

Theme First-line List (Tetrameter)

1. The hell and heaven aren't the same, (Rula)
One's cool, the other burns in shame.
The heaven's faces grin with smiles,
while sinful ones in hell are piles.

2. A night of warmth, the day is here, (Ian)
My beans now grow a race is clear
The soil erupts to let them through
A sea of green to feed us seen.

3. The nighttime heat, summer is here, (Barbara)
It is so hot I can't see clear,
My face the sweat do sting my eyes,
I cry dear sir please fix the air

4. While walking through the deep dark woods. (Scribbler)

5. (Weirdelf)

6. (lonlyhrtsclub13)

7. Mystique reentrant, upward flow (Beauregard)
a journey through the cold unknown

8. (BlueDemon77)

9. (docmaverick)

This is mine

I found singing opera makes it easier to write without trying to remember every syllable. I hope it worked. What you think Jess?

The nighttime heat, summer is here,
It is so hot I can't see clear,
My face the sweat do sting my eyes,
I cry dear sir please fix the air

Bloody close!

The night/time heat/, summer/ is here, [3rd foot is a trochee]
It is/ so hot/ I can't/ see clear,
My face/ the sweat/ do sting/ my eyes, [does?]
I cry/ dear sir/ please fix/ the air

Jess

Thanks, I see it

The nighttime heat, summer is here, (sum/mer) not sure of pronunciation there.
But this is what I hear http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/Summer?s=t
It is so hot I can't see clear,
My face the sweat does sting my eyes,
I cry dear sir please fix the air.

Thanks I appreciate the critique I'm finally getting it.

I guess

whenever anybody is in doubt about which syllable is stressed they could always consult a dictionary as last result. what gets me in trouble is my subconscious tendency to place stress where meter demands it instead of where it is............stan

Stan

We all are wired differently. That gets me too. I need to learn to let it flow like a song

Hey Beau

Good prompt, but it should be either reentrant flows or reentrants flow.......stan

Beau

Thanks Beau

I'm keeping the list compile

We are doings one lines. It is okay for those doing all four. We will be use just the first line for theme discussing and using in the first quatrain that starts the epic poem later. Just jump in with you one line for discussion.

I'm listing them as we go. Once everyone has participated we'll choose whose first line gets to be the subject/theme.

Theme First-line List (Tetrameter)

1. The hell and heaven aren't the same, (Rula)
One's cool, the other burns in shame.
The heaven's faces grin with smiles,
while sinful ones in hell are piles.

2. A night of warmth, the day is here, (Ian)
My beans now grow a race is clear
The soil erupts to let them through
A sea of green to feed us seen.

3. The nighttime heat, summer is here, (Barbara)
It is so hot I can't see clear,
My face the sweat do sting my eyes,
I cry dear sir please fix the air

4. While walking through the deep dark woods. (Scribbler)

5. (Weirdelf)

6. (lonlyhrtsclub13)

7. Mystique reentrant, upward flow (Beauregard)
a journey through the cold unknown

8. a city awakens brushing (BlueDemon77)
suicides and junkies flushing
with her human bone comb snagging
drones watch football huffing, bragging

9. (docmaverick)

Thanks guys for joining and participating. The discussion is going wonderfully. There are three ppl that haven't weighted in yet. Looking forward to seeing what they have to offer.

Discussing theme

Thanks Ron for your stanza. We almost ready to discuss the themes and choose. There's three left Lonlyhrt, Doc, and Jess to share a theme line.

The momentum has slowed

I discern that many of us are busy so if we could start discussing themes in the stanzas already given would be nice. Why not start From the list below.

Theme First-line List (Tetrameter)

1. The hell and heaven aren't the same, (Rula)

2. A night of warmth, the day is here, (Ian)

3. The nighttime heat, summer is here, (Barbara)

4. While walking through the deep dark woods. (Scribbler)

5. (Weirdelf)

6. (lonlyhrtsclub13)

7. Mystique reentrant, upward flow (Beauregard)

8. A city awakens brushing (BlueDemon77)

9. (docmaverick)
Those who haven't offered a first line yet can come on board as soon as they are available to do so. In the meantime all the themes in the six lines here has a common theme that would make this poem interesting.
What theme you'd like the poem to start with, then as a group we can choose which one to start the poem

hello barbra

Why don't we start? I think you can choose the theme with which to start,aren't you the boss here♥♥♥

i agree

let's go for it,
take charge,
boss

Hey Carolina girl

Somebody has to get the ball rolling, might as well be the one who has put the snowball together lol.........stan

hello barbra

I would love to try. Do I have to wait for everyone else to write their staza?

Hi boss lady

No you don't have to wait. I need to add you to the workshop go ahead write your first or stanza.

Hi

Most of these lines either already have or could easily obtain a compare and contrast type feel. Heaven and hell, hot and cold day and night or woods and other than woods..............stan

Okay I back

Sorry the the delay. Let me check who has ther theme lines and go from there. Thanks for the push I needed it.

These are the themes so far

Theme First-line List (Tetrameter)

1. The hell and heaven aren't the same, (Rula)

2. A night of warmth, the day is here, (Ian)

3. The nighttime heat, summer is here, (Barbara)

4. While walking through the deep dark woods. (Scribbler)

5. (Weirdelf)

6. (lonlyhrtsclub13)

7. Mystique reentrant, upward flow (Beauregard)

8. A city awakens brushing (BlueDemon77)

9. (docmaverick)

10. (Bossladyone)

I'm officially ending discussions To get things moving

Would everyone give their vote on a theme line and begin to finish their quatrain. Or if you like I'll just pick one and get it started. Then you can add your quatrain like we did in renga and start the Poem today. Some have already written their quatrain. Il be back later to night to get the epic poem started.

Thanks for joining the workshop and I apologize for letting it stagnant. I was waiting for those that haven't participated. Don't wanna leave any out. ;)

Quatrains ready for poem

1. The hell and heaven aren't the same, (Rula)
One's cool, the other burns in shame.
The heaven's faces grin with smiles,
while sinful ones in hell are piles.

2. A night of warmth, the day is here, (Ian)
My beans now grow a race is clear
The soil erupts to let them through
A sea of green to feed us seen.

3. The nighttime heat, summer is here, (Barbara)
It is so hot I can't see clear,
My face the sweat do sting my eyes,
I cry dear sir please fix the air

8. a city awakens brushing (BlueDemon77)
suicides and junkies flushing
with her human bone comb snagging
drones watch football huffing, bragging

If no other quatrains

If no other Are given lets vote on whose start or I'll choose. Then il wait to see where each one place their quatrain. All needed is to add yours under the first quatrain. I'll post to the stream after all four more quatrain is place by its author where he/she feel it works best in the poem.

I've learn a lot with this workshop and hope y'all did also. Meters is my problem area but after running this workshop I hope we helped each other feel better about it.

I prefer

better start dear Barbara or things would never move on.

You choose, Barbara

let's get moving and write a collaborative poem!

Barb

I am sorry for my lack of participation. I have had much going on in my personal life surrounding my son as well as I have been working with Wesley to polish some of my skills and technical details of my works. I will keep following up and will come up with something to add once you have decided on a start.

thanks lonlyhrt

I start with Ian quatrain

Poem

A night of warmth, the day is here,
My beans now grow a race is clear
The soil erupts to let them through
A sea of green to feed us seen. (Ian)

This is the first stanza and theme of the epic poem. Who's gonna follow next? Just jump in and add your quatrain that complements this one.. and so forth..

Idea for order pf poem

A night of warmth, the day is here, (Ian)
My beans now grow a race is clear
The soil erupts to let them through
A sea of green to feed us seen.
-
-
The nighttime heat, summer is here, (Barbara)
It is so hot I can't see clear,
My face the sweat do sting my eyes,
I cry dear sir please fix the air
-
-
a city awakens brushing (BlueDemon77)
suicides and junkies flushing
with her human bone comb snagging
drones watch football huffing, bragging
-
-
The hell and heaven aren't the same, (Rula)
One's cool, the other burns in shame.
The heaven's faces grin with smiles,
while sinful ones in hell are piles.
-
-

This order sounds best to me, what do you all thinK?

Ron

sounds great

Sounds great Looks great I didn't wanna do it all. if all is okay ill compose final draft and post to stream and call it done, unless any of the 5 who haven't written a quatrain yet wanna add to it. I'm terrible not wanting an to be left out..

Either way this is the last week to be included as author of this one of a kind poem. Hope everyone learn a lot from the workshop bc i sure did.. now i'm writing quatrains till my heart content.. and actually understand the meter and hear it when I need it.

excuse my ignorance

What's a pf poem?

typo

order of poem

but these

were only suggested quatrains to choose a theme and build on, not a full poem, at least what I thought.

it was to start the theme

you are right, they were for themes to build on. i waited for all to give their first line theme and then vote on which one to start. since there were no vote i had to choose a theme. the first line of the very first quatrain is the theme.

since there were no other participation i put together what was there. its time to to write quatrains. if any body want to go back to original Renga posting of quatrains we can do that and the suggested quatrains for themes can remain just that, suggestions. if not i must move on as the workshop has fallen off its momentum.

so everybody, which is it? those who have not given a theme or written a quatrain gets another chance. or we go with what we have and everyone who haven't participated add to it. Renga style. i'm looking for feedback on this issue. if none well proceed with what we have. I had no idea where to go.

theme:

A night of warmth, the day is here, (Ian)

Well I see no response

This workshop has run it course.

Il post what BlueDemon has suggested
Thanks for joining and participating. I've had much fun with this workshop and hope to see y'all at my next one. I'll for sure be joining the next shop up. . And glean from it.

This is a collaborative workshop where participants create a poem with 'Rhyming couplets in quatrains'. It's designed just like Eternal Renga workshop before it. Only the poetry content and form is different. The suggested metric form is "Iambic Tetrameter", which means 8 syllables per line, alternately unstressed and stressed eg da DUM / da DUM / da DUM / da DUM / Those who enjoy writing or want to learn Rhyming couplets in quatrains and practice their meter. This is a place just for you. We will begin with a discussion of subjects/themes we might tackle. Leader: Barbara Writes Moderator(s): Weirdelf (Jess) Objectives: The objective is to write a rhyming couplet poem in quatrain stanzas. Each will add a quatrain that compliments the one before it. Click link to see examples. Blog http://www.neopoet.com/barbara-writes/blog/thu-2013-05-16-2348-0 Level of expertise: Open to all Subject matter: Rhyming couplets in quatrains